


'cause in the evening, it's girls

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/F, Genderswap, Sexswap, girlband
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-26
Updated: 2011-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 13:01:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/610113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sex+genderswap. In which One Direction are a girl band.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'cause in the evening, it's girls

**Author's Note:**

> Girls - all I really want is girls  
> And in the morning it's girls  
> Cause in the evening it's girls

  
  
Louis is a bed-climber. Everyone knows this, so Liam isn't the littlest bit surprised when one night, Louis crawls into her bed in the middle of the night, makes Liam jump at the cold feet that join her own, and pushes her icy, sniffly nose into Liam's chest.  
  
Liam's chest isn't very big, so a head-butt hurts. Louis' head, of course, seems not to mind at all, which is typical. A quick glance at her watch tells Liam that it's past 2am. They have a tight schedule tomorrow, so she doesn't bitch. Much. She just says, "What are you doing?" in a tired voice, like she does whenever Louis is being insufferable.  
  
"Cuddling," Louis murmurs into her chest (which is starting to make Liam a little uncomfortable, because the vibrations of Louis' speech make her nipples harden and Louis is poking out her tongue, Liam's pretty sure. "Might have heard of it. If you weren't such an uptight, heartless bitch."  
  
Liam kicks her. "Why'd you come to _my_ bed then?" And wonderful, she's awake now. She'll be knackered in the morning. "Where you outside? Who were you - were you sneaking around with Aiden again?"  
  
"Just having a fag," Louis says, and then snickers, because hah: pun, and all, because Aiden's gay and- right. Liam stops in mid-thought. "I'm going to kill you in the morning," she then whispers, "as soon as I have enough strength to put my hands around your neck and squeeze. _Smoking_ , Louis? Your vocal cords -"  
  
"Oh my God, shut up," Louis says, and kisses her.  
  
They're five girls in a room, and Liam knows if Niall wakes up, or worse, Zayn, they will never hear the end of this, but oh, Louis' mouth and her clever tongue sneaking into Liam's mouth.  
  
They've done this before, sometimes. In Liam's head, she calls it 'screwing around' and lets it be, but her heart always protests and it's a complete mess, which she knew would happen the moment she laid eyes on Louis. Liam knows herself, thank you very much, and she knows she's smart and reasonable and all those boring things - until a girl turns her head and then all reason flies out the window and there's just this.  
  
Louis knows how to play her, too, which is a pain. She knows how to press their lips together to get little choked moans out of Liam, knows how to let her fingertips wander over Liam's skin underneath her pyjama top, to her small breasts, flicking her nails across her nipples until Liam's wriggling, needing _something_ , and _more_. Louis knows the perfect moment to slip her thigh between Liam's legs and press down, rubbing up against Liam's panties.  
  
Liam can feel herself grow wet at the pressure, moving her hips in the rhythm Louis has set, and kisses back, pushing her tongue past Louis' lips aggressively to control at least something about this.  
  
"Fuck, you're so much hotter when you shut up," Louis hisses, and then slips her hand down and over the material of Liam's panties before Liam can reply. Liam arches her back and pants, wanting more of Louis' hands, her fingers. "To think anyone'd call you _the good girl_ when you're gagging for it like this."  
  
Liam wants to glare, plans to do it just as soon as she can muster the will. It's very hard when Louis lets her thumb slip by the outer seam of her panties, pushing underneath just an inch to get at the wetness, but not nearly enough to get Liam off.  
  
"I really hate you," Liam tells her loudly, forgetting herself, and spreads her legs to give Louis better access, get her fingers where they should be, which is on her clit and maybe inside her so Louis can open her up and make her come _hard_.  
  
Louis grins, and kisses her again. She's warmed up by now, her mouth wet and hot, and Liam focuses on the kiss because it's better than to focus on the fingers slowly traveling over her panties, rubbing gently at her clit through the cotton, which is an exercise in torture. It doesn't make Liam feel any less turned on, but it's not enough when she knows there could be skin on skin and Louis is still wearing those ridiculous boxer shorts in which she always goes to sleep, which is not good when Liam is trying to get to as much Louis-skin as possible.  
  
She slides her hands up the t-shirt over the smoothness of Louis' back, pushing the denim out of the way, breathing in through her nose when Louis' tongue touches her own. She must have been lying because she doesn't taste of cigarettes at all; maybe she was just keeping Aiden company while Aiden whined about how hot Matt is, and how to make his move.  
  
Liam opens her eyes when Louis pulls away and asks "What're you thinking 'bout?", touching their lips together, spit-slick and puffy.  
  
Liam says, "Aiden," and then realizes how that will sound, shit, and for a second, Louis looks like she's been slapped before Liam says, "No, I meant. Matt. Wait. Oh God."  
  
Louis seems to get it though, because her face softens and she rolls her eyes. "I'm doing something wrong if you're thinking about their epic failitude of a romance _now_."  
  
Liam smiles, with teeth, which she never does because she knows it makes her look like a deranged circus freak, and Louis' eyes crinkle at the corners. Then Liam feels the little shifts of muscle as Louis flexes her back; her arm moves, her hand stops the teasing, wandering up Liam's cotton panties and she manages to shove them down with just that one hand, pressing her fingers in.  
  
"Shit, you're wet," she breathes, making Liam flush bright red because that's not fair, of course she's turned on. "Wanna eat you out so bad," Louis adds, and oh. Liam's flush deepens, imagining Louis' tongue working where her fingers are right now, pressure points and little slick twists. She nods quickly. They've never actually done that before, only ever in her head, and she wants, almost as if it would mean more than what they've been doing. It's stupid, but there it is. Louis makes her stupid, a fucking moron, really, and she can never say no.  
  
"Tell me," Louis says, and kisses Liam's nose, her forehead, and then down the side of her face until her tongue curls around Liam's ear, her breath warm, and then cooling rapidly. "Tell me you want it."  
  
Liam makes a sound and tries to squirm down further on Louis' fingers, which are just skimming her now, not applying enough force when they should be sliding in _deeper_. If at least Louis was pushing her thumb over Liam's clit so Liam could come. Nothing so easy with Louis.  
  
"Yes," Liam gasps, and reaches down to do it herself. "I want it. Please."  
  
Louis snorts, utterly unladylike, and then sobers and slips her fingers in, making Liam gasps from seeing stars. "Tell me what. Make it filthy. I know you love being filthy. I've seen you say 'Fuck' to yourself when you think no one's watching."  
  
Liam keens and her hand grasps Louis', forcing her fingers deeper, heel of her own hand pressing against her clit, making herself come. "Fuck," she moans, proving Louis right (she hates it when that happens), and can feel herself contracting around Louis' fingers, can feel how heavy Louis' breathing gets as she watches Liam's face, feels Liam tighten around her fingers.  
  
When she can think again, Liam notices that Louis is watching her face from an inch away. Their noses are almost touching. It feels too close and intimate, makes her feel awkward and ugly, especially when Louis catches her gaze and holds it.  
  
Liam shifts, pulls away from Louis' fingers and body, and tries to get some space between them. Louis chooses that moment to whisper, "You're so fucking beautiful."  
  
Liam feels something inside her well up, almost like tears, except she's not that big a cliché. So she pushes at Louis' shoulder and says, "Fuck you," instead.  
  
Louis rolls her eyes. "What, it's true."  
  
Except it's really not. Harry's beautiful. Zayn's _beautiful_. Liam looks nothing like them. Her nose is too big. Her teeth are the strangest teeth on the planet. The stylists from the show gave her a haircut that looks worse than the mullet she had when she was eight. She's hopeless. She just likes girls, and she is a girl, and Louis happens to enjoy vagina.  
  
"Wow, I hate that look on your face," Louis points out. "I'm going to do something to make it go away." And she doesn't give Liam the opportunity to answer. She slithers down gracefully, traces Liam's body with her palms, her chest, licking around her navel, dipping a thumb in. Liam watches her, half-frozen in anticipation, and half-trembling with want.  
  
Her legs are still spread, and it barely registers that Louis settles down until she places her hands on the insides of Liam's thighs, stroking in gentle circles, and Liam realizes she's just watching, staring at where Liam's soaked and red and swollen from before, and something in her belly cramps so hard she has to clench her hands in the sheets so she won't make too much noise.  
  
Then Louis' fingers are on her again, feeling _so good_ , sliding through her dark curls, spreading her apart. When Louis ducks her head, Liam lets herself fall back into her pillow, sucking in air, because _oh god_ that's new. Louis' tongue feels... different and presses _exactly_ on her clit, and then it's Louis' lips instead, kissing, sucking, tongue still working against her, feeling utterly right.  
  
Liam doesn't know what to do with her hands, so she keeps them buried in the sheets. She loses the fight to keep her hips down; they rock up, against Louis' mouth, and it would be funny, how that could have ended if Louis hadn't been anticipating it, but she did, she does, and it just gets better when she presses her tongue _into_ Liam.  
  
Liam has no idea how Louis is dealing with this, how she hasn't come a hundred times from doing this. Liam imagines she will if she ever gets the opportunity, because _fuck_ \- why haven't they been doing this _forever_? Why do people ever _stop_ fucking?  
  
Louis isn't finished, fingers back on Liam right where her mouth is, fingertips pressing against Liam's clit as her tongue slides into her, deeper. Liam can feel herself tighten from inside, feels heat roll over her skin once more, a warning how close she is. She cries out, "Louis, _Louis_ -"  
  
"Fucking hell, are you two fucking?"  
  
Liam slams upwards, Louis' fingers push down so hard it _hurts_ , and that sends her over the edge, coming with a choked-down noise. Louis never stops working her tongue, swallowing her down, feeling Liam tremble against her lips.  
  
"Shit," Liam pants. Niall is staring at them, mouth open, cheeks bright red, and Liam wants to die, and this is really all Louis' fault, who always makes her so stupid, always makes her do the stupidest things like having sex in a room with all of her bandmates right there, and she's frozen, and then of course, Harry's propping herself up on her elbows, looking sleepy and rumpled and asks, "Who's fucking?"  
  
Thankfully, Louis has the sense to draw the sheets up and over them. Liam still kicks her off the bed, though, and buries into the blanket, her back to everyone. She closes her eyes and hears Louis say, in a voice that's _tinged with amusement_ , "Go back to sleep, you perverted freaks. You better not whack off to this."  
  
Because of course, it's all a big fucking joke to her.  
  
  
\- - - - -  
  
  
Liam spends most of the next day sulking. They have choreography and vocal coaching and in the evening they will be meeting with the stylists to try on outfits for the next live show, so it's not an easy task. She keeps away as she can, though, and doesn't look at Louis at all. Instead, she lurks with the other girls, Cher, Aiden and Rebecca. She's grateful none of them ask why.  
  
It's Zayn who finally corners her in the afternoon when Liam is hiding on the bed with her sheets pulled over her head, watching YouTube videos and listening to soppy songs. Chasing Cars never seemed so fitting.  
  
"Liam," she sighs. "Take that sheet off."  
  
Liam doesn't care what Zayn says, so she stays were she is and buries her face in her pulled-up knees.  
  
"Ugh," Zayn says, and then she lifts a corner and climbs under the sheet with Liam. Her make-up's missing, which means the stylists will be trying out new things for that side of the performance, too, and Liam hates just thinking about it. She dislikes having gunk on her face, and it makes her feel self-conscious because people who've never glanced her way before start staring like she's a different person just because her eyes are painted and her lips red.  
  
Zayn smiles. "You know, you put Bella Swan to shame with your angsting."  
  
Liam stares at her in horror. "Do not ever speak that name in my presence. It always makes me feel like if I were Bella, Edward must be all those creepy fans who want to sleep with me just because my blood is famous. I mean, special. My face is famous. Okay, crappy analogy. But my point stands."  
  
Zayn leans over and presses a kiss to her cheek. "You're adorable."  
  
"No, I'm not." Liam wipes the kiss of her cheek. "You're just being nice to me because I'm dying. Of _embarrassment_. And because I'm pining away for Louis. Dying. I'm dead _twice_ over. I'm like Buffy."  
  
Zayn snickers and leans into her, putting her arms around her to give her a cuddle. "I guess I'd be dying too, if Niall had gotten a front-row seat to Louis eating out _my_ pussy. Harry is so jealous, she has been trying to blackmail Louis into taking pictures all day."  
  
Liam's face flames. "Is this supposed to cheer me up? Because it's not helping. You're a crappy friend, Zayn. Crappy, and unhelpful."  
  
"Aw, come on. It was good, right?" Zayn makes a face. "Not that I want to know details. But she was - you wanted it, right?"  
  
"No," Liam says, and then, "Yes," when she sees Zayn's thundercloud face. "I mean. Not with _an audience_. But yeah. It was fantastic." Then she scowls. "Which isn't the point."  
  
Zayn grins. "What's the point?"  
  
Liam sighs and buries her face in her hands. "She's just having fun. She doesn't like me back that way."  
  
"That's not true."  
  
"Yes, it is."  
  
"It's not. If she wanted to eat pussy for fun, she'd be doing Harry," Zayn points out, and Liam wants to throw up at that particular mental picture. She doesn't want Louis having sex with anyone but her.  
  
Liam doesn't realize she's said that out loud until Zayn says, "Fuck, you're really into her!" She looks surprised, like _that wasn't obvious_ or anything.  
  
Liam makes a miserable face. "Ergo the dying."  
  
Zayn opens her mouth. There's a knock to the door, so she closes her mouth again, and then yells, "Yes?"  
  
"It's Niall," Niall calls loudly. "I'm not coming in until someone assures me I will not be subjected to traumatic views. Like Louis' face in Liam's -"  
  
"You can come in," Zayn calls back, laughing like a maniac. "Can't speak for Louis, but my face is nowhere near - ouch. Fuck!"  
  
Liam shoves _her_ off the bed too, and curls up again, putting her earphones back in. Ah, James Blunt next. Charming.  
  
  
\- - - - -  
  
  
Liam keeps her eyes closed, her fingers cramped around the arm rests of her seat, while the stylists experiment with her make-up. They're doing 'Kids in America' on Saturday. Simon had the glorious idea to make it cheerleader themed, which means three of the five of them will be dancing around on stage in life-sized doll outfits.  
  
Liam hates that Simon caught her longing look at the trouser-outfit and cut her down with a harsh but truthful, "Don't even think about it. You'd win the vote for 'in desperate need of spicing up' unanimously. You're wearing the uniform."  
  
Harry loves her skirt, of course. She picked the shortest one of the bunch and proclaimed that she was wearing her ladybug-pattern panties underneath and if there was a hot boy in the front row, he might even get flashed if he was lucky.  
  
Melanie thumbs at the corner of Liam's eye one more time, fluffs her hair, and says, "There you go, honey. All done."  
  
Liam doesn't recognize herself when she opens her eyes. Her eyes are huge, framed in blacks and blues and her lips deep red, like she's bitten into an eel and it's bleeding all over her mouth.  
  
"Fucking hell, I'd do you," Harry says. When Liam glares at her, she smirks and licks her lips noisily; Frank flicks his knuckles against her head in repraoch.  
  
"You do look hot," Niall agrees. Apparently, she's no longer brain-damaged by last night's events, which means it took her all of half a day to get over it. It's good to know Niall's memory isn't elephantine.  
  
"Thanks," Liam says shortly and raises from her chair. "I'll go dress up then, shall I?"  
  
"Careful not to get any of your lipstick on the outfit," Melanie calls after her. Then she turns towards the door and yells, "Zayn, your turn. Get your cute butt in here!"  
  
Liam closes the door to the changing room behind herself and turns to the mirror in the corner. She's still wearing what she's most comfortable in, a thin shirt and loose jeans stuck in her boots. The outfits are carefully hung up on a clothes rack. She stares at the intricate bodices and fitting skirts and they're _pretty_. Not her kind of pretty, but in a way, they're not so bad, maybe. Maybe they'll let her keep her boots.  
  
She toes them off, then takes off her shirt by pulling it over her head, careful not to mess up the hair. Her jeans go next, past her sock-clad feet. It barely takes her two minutes to figure the outfit out, and pull the skirt up her legs. She's adjusting her top when the door opens after a short knock.  
  
"Dude, Liam," Louis says, and then stops. "Whoa."  
  
Liam feels her ears grow hot. "Eyes," she snaps, and Louis' gaze swivels up to her face from where it was resting on her thighs.  
  
"That's different," Louis says.  
  
Liam scowls and turns her back to her, leaning against the wall with her shoulder to climb back into her boots. She wishes suddenly she hadn't promised Melanie she'd show her the finished look. She must look ridiculous; her breasts are pushed up in a way that keeps making her look down her own decolleté, wondering if they'll fall out. The skirt feels too short suddenly.  
  
Then hands slip around her hips and Louis is curled around her back, surprisingly warm. Her breath makes the short hairs on Liam's neck move. She smells nice, of coconut and spices. "Still mad at me?" she asks with a little sigh.  
  
Liam ducks her head and wonders what she's supposed to say to that.  
  
"You do know I'm never letting you walk out of here like this, right?" Louis talks on, like she hasn't just asked a question. Apparently, Liam not pushing her away was reply enough.  
  
"Like what?" Liam asks, and hates that her voice turns raspy. She can feel herself getting wet at the way Louis' thumb moves over the bit of skin laid bare by the top not quite reaching the skirt's waistline. She wonders if Louis' dick would be hard, pressing up against Liam like this, if she was a boy. Liam wonders if it would turn her on just as much if she was.  
  
It doesn't matter, because this is what it is; Louis' jeans zipper is dragging over the thin material of the skirt when she twitches. "I'm not gonna say," Louis says into her ear and kisses her neck when Liam twists her head out of the way. "You're only going to get mad at me again."  
  
Liam bites her lip to hide a smile. "Call me a hussy again and you'll be right."  
  
"That was _one_ time, and I was being sarcastic, and those shorts were _awfully_ short, okay. Even Matt said so. It made Aiden get all teary-eyed and jealous at you for fifteen whole minutes. I'll never get those fifteen minutes back."  
  
Louis keeps babbling, and by now Liam knows that she only does it when she is trying to distract Liam from shenanigans. The problem is, Liam is unable to resist these kinds of shenanigans (even though her brain tells her she's being incredibly stupid again), because Louis' right hand has been inching its way down and below Liam's skirt and then _up_ again, traveling the smooth skin of her thigh, and Liam leans harder against the wall to keep herself upright.  
  
"And on a scale from one to ten," Louis continues, oblivious, "How pissy would you get if I said the skirt is making me want to finger you until you come all over your new cheerleader uniform?" All right, maybe not so oblivious.  
  
Liam's knees turn weak. She's very glad that Louis is holding her up as well as the wall, especially when Louis doesn't wait for an answer there, either, and pushes aside Liam's panties to touch her where she's moist and ready, trailing her fingers over delicate skin.  
  
"Louis," Liam says, and it's supposed to be a warning because Louis seems to have a _thing_ for sex in public spaces, and Liam is not that kind of girl, except maybe she is, because it comes out pleading instead, and she remembers how Louis' tongue felt against her last night and wants that again, desperately, a burning ball of desire in her belly.  
  
"I cannot wait to get you in bed again," Louis murmurs against her skin, tracing Liam's neck with her lips, and then tongue, swirling patterns over her pulse point. Liam feels a finger push at her entrance and then move up again towards her clit, rubbing hard enough to make her choke. "Can't imagine what you'll look like between my legs, your pink mouth."  
  
Liam bites down on her lip so hard it hurts, and holds back a moan because if she'd had the time to get herself off between last night and now, that would have been what she'd have imagined as well, spreading Louis' thighs, getting at the heat between them to lick her open and eat her out, imagining what she'll taste like, what it'll feel like to have her twist and jerk against her mouth.  
  
"Do you want to?" Louis asks, and then, _finally_ , pushes two fingers inside Liam, almost too fast, too soon, except Liam's so wet already, so close, that it hardly matters.  
  
Liam moves her hips experimentally, rides Louis' fingers, feeling them crook and twist inside her. Instead of answering, she tilts her head so she can catch Louis' mouth with her own, kissing her, chaste at first, just little pecks against her lips. When Louis slides her fingers _deeper_ , the sudden jolt makes her open her mouth and Louis slips her tongue out, meeting Liam's.  
  
Liam gets her own hand to join Louis', rubs her clit through the material, but it's not enough, there's not enough _space_ and she needs to come, so she says, "Louis, let me - Louis," and Louis gets it.  
  
Out of the corner of her eye, Liam catches an expression of utter delight on Louis' face and it _almost_ makes her want to retract, but the look suits Louis so well, makes her so beautiful, that she twists out of Louis' embrace, faces her and leans in to kiss her face again, already smeared with the lipstick, looking ridiculous and hot at the same time. Louis hooks her thumbs down the sides of Liam's panties and pushes them down past Liam's thighs, her knees and lets her step out of them. Liam pretends not to see that she stuffs them into the back pocket of her jeans.  
  
"This is the filthiest," Louis murmurs and palms Liam's ass, riding up the skirt, trailing her hand down her thighs, and then up once more, slipping still-wet fingers between her buttocks, rubbing the tip of a finger over her hole. "When we have more time, I'll rim you so hard."  
  
Liam has no idea what to say to that, so she pretends like the words didn't just burn a white-hot bolt of lightning through her body. "Can you," she says instead, and pulls Louis closer again, kissing her deeply.  
  
"Can I what?" Louis asks, and she's teasing, but Liam really cannot take much more teasing at this point, so she just grasps Louis' fingers and puts them up her skirt again, pressing the heel of her hand against her clit, moaning into Louis' neck.  
  
"Oh, _that_ ," Louis says, and laughs a little, and Liam wants to hit her, or ride her hand some more.  
  
"I love how into it you get," Louis keeps talking, and that's another thing, how she never shuts up. "How much you love this. How it makes you not give a fuck what people would think if they could see you like this, like I could push up against that wall and spread you open and someone coming in wouldn't _matter_ because -"  
  
"Jesus," Liam groans, "I'm trying to get off here."  
  
Louis laughs. It's a gorgeous laugh, throwing her head back, but her fingers never stop moving, and she says, "My point exactly."  
  
Then she stops fucking around, pushes Liam against the exact wall she was talking about before, gets down on her knees and pushes her face between Liam's thighs, and licks up and into her. Liam braces her legs and thumps her fist against the wall and comes _hard_ when Louis sucks her clit into her mouth, and sucks and sucks and tongues it as Liam rides out her orgasm.  
  
When she's done, Louis heaves herself up to stand, rubs the heel of her hand against the zipper of her jeans and makes a sheepish face. "I think I came in my panties a little just from that. Fuck."  
  
Liam just breathes. Until Louis leans in and kisses her, and then she moans because Louis' mouth is still sticky, and it tastes strange, especially knowing she's tasting herself.  
  
"This is so hot," Louis mumbles, and kisses her deeper, pressing a thigh between her legs and _up_.  
  
Liam pushes at her shoulder then because she _can't_ come again, too sensitive and raw. And also, she still hasn't made Louis come at all, which is horrible of her. "Do you want me to...?" she asks against Louis' mouth, trailing her hand to the front of Louis' trousers.  
  
"God yes," Louis laughs. "But not now. I think Harry's ear might glue to the door if we stay in here any longer."  
  
Liam turns crimson. "You didn't _tell_ them, did you?"  
  
Louis pulls away, heat vanishing and looks at Liam strangely. "Liam," she then says carefully. "You do know everyone's aware we're together, right?"  
  
"Yes," Liam says, afterglow receding, and then, "No!" Because. "I mean. Of course after last night, they all know we're screwing around, but -"  
  
"Screwing around?" Louis' face looks stricken suddenly.  
  
"Having sex. Whatever you want to call it." Liam shuts her mouth when Louis' mouth thins and her eyes go cool.  
  
Louis pulls away. "Is that what this is to you? Getting off, taking off, thank you madam, and let's make sure no one catches on? Is that what you were _sulking_ about? That everyone figured out we're - what? Fuck-buddies?"  
  
"I'm in love with you," Liam blurts, because the look on Louis' face is _horrible_ and she never wants to see it again. She doesn't want to be the cause of it, ever, and especially now, and gosh, how are they so ridiculous together?  
  
Louis' shoulders drop at the words, though, which is good (Liam thinks). The tension that made her feel like a coiled spring releases and she breathes out, stepping closer to Liam again. Her hands find Liam's hips and she draws them together, noses almost touching. Liam takes a breath as well. She doesn't know if her heart's still beating or not because she cannot feel anything but the heat of Louis' hands, her face.  
  
"Liam," Louis says slowly. "Why are you such a moron?"  
  
Liam narrows her eyes.  
  
"I love you too, you _complete and utter tosser_."  
  
"Oh," Liam says.  
  
"Yeah, _oh_. How could you _not know_. Everyone knows. The lady who sells One Direction forks on a space cruiser fifty years from now knows. How can you not know?"  
  
Liam feels dumb, but only for a second before she realizes that this is not the point. "So we're girlfriends?" she asks instead.  
  
"Ah, _yeah_?" Louis says. "Duh."  
  
"For how long?"  
  
"Two months? Give or take. Might be one month, eight days, four hours. Basically since that one time you hit me with one of your miniature train replicas and my skull broke it and I had to distract you by kissing you so you wouldn't kill me?"  
  
"Oh," Liam says and blinks.  
  
Louis makes a sad face. "I like you better when you're smart. Or making those noises, those little hiccups just before you come -"  
  
There's a pounding against the door. "If you don't stop fucking right now, I'll be coming in anyway," Harry shouts at them. "And I'm bringin my camera."  
  
"You can come in," Louis calls back, "It's safe." Because her definition of safe is apparently all genitalia covered. Never mind the panties in her back pocket and Liam _not wearing any underwear_ and sticky, lipstick-smeared, swollen lips and pushing Liam against the wall to kiss her some more.  
  
"Ugh, guys," Niall complains.  
  
Harry grins. "It reeks of sex in here. Lovely work, Louis. Let me make a video. Secret video diary, for our fans."  
  
"If your finger goes anywhere near that button, I will break all your fingers and your camera," Liam tells her in her most convincing I-am-not-joking-about-this voice.  
  
"Aw," Harry says.  
  
"Anyway, we'll be going to have more sex," Louis says, and grins broadly. "Because my girlfriend is not wearing any underwear right now, and since I doubt that will happen again anytime soon, we need to celebrate this."  
  
"Louis!" Liam yelps, but lets Louis lead her out of the changing rooms by her wrist.  
  
"Fucking finally," Zayn mutters from the make-up chair, once they've left. "I thought they'd never work it out."  
  
"We'll never be safe going into our room now, always at risk of being confronted with traumatizing images," Niall replies, burying her face in her hands.  
  
Harry holds up her camera and looks at it with a fond expression. "I think I can figure out a way to teach them the meaning of discretion."  
  
  
  
\- - End - -


End file.
